In the kitchen

Welcome to our kitchen! Knives, forks and spoons are in the blue box. Plates and bowls are up there. Careful with the big bowl. It's my grandmother's.

Don't ask what happened to the other six plates. Dave knows. Dave isn't here today. Dave is never here. Anyway, use anything you want, except Dave's spoon. It lives on a hook. He's strange.

Morning! A cup for you, a mug for me, and a glass for Mia. Wait. Mia wants the mug too? Mia, it's my mug. It has my name on it.

Okay, okay. Take the mug. I'll pour the tea in the cup. Don't pour it in the glass, Mia! That's for juice. Who puts tea in a glass? Nobody, that's who.

Hello? Are you the owner? There's a kettle, a toaster, but no tin opener. We have six tins of beans. How do we open them?

I looked in every drawer. Just spoons. Fourteen spoons. Who needs fourteen spoons? Please bring a tin opener. We're hungry, and the beans are looking at us.

Kids! Can someone lay the table? Four plates, please. Thank you, Ali.

And after dinner, whoever wants chocolate has to clear the table. Someone left the chopping board in the sink, and my tea towel is on the floor. Why is my tea towel on the floor? Nobody knows. Nobody ever knows.

Hi, love, can you put away the shopping? The jam goes in the cupboard. Look, the lid is off again. A jar without a lid is a sad jar.

And the tray, please. Not on the floor! It goes behind the cooker. No, behind. Thank you. Now, why is there a cat in the shopping bag? Never mind. Put away the cat, too.

Hi, Ece, it's Tom. Mum is coming for dinner at six. Can you clean the kitchen, please? Wipe the worktop with the sponge. Use the washing-up liquid, not the shower gel. Yes, that happened once.

And please wear the apron on the hook. Not for the dirt. Just in case Mum looks. She'll think we cook. Thank you, you're the best!

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