Working hours

"Is the new job nine to five?" "Yes. Monday through Friday, full-time. Those are my working hours on paper."

"And in real life?" "In real life, my boss sends emails at eight at night."

"What about your sister?" "She works part-time, three days a week. She's the smart one."

Tips for day one. The lunch break is at one o'clock, but lunchtime in this office is really quarter to one. Don't ask why.

The coffee break is at eleven. Be on time, because the bagels are gone by five after.

On Fridays, you can leave early. But only if the boss isn't looking.

Hi honey. Sorry, I have to work late tonight. The boss wants the report on Tuesday, because Monday is a federal holiday. For everybody except me.

But it's payday! We get paid at five, so dinner is on me tomorrow. Put the water on. I'll be home by nine. Maybe ten.

I'm on the night shift this week. I clock in at ten and I finish at six. Then I sleep all day.

I only work weekdays, which is nice. And next month I have five vacation days. I'm going to sleep at night. Like a normal person!

Rush hour again. The subway is full and I'm standing on someone's foot. Sorry!

It takes one hour to go home. So my free time is short. I see my friends once a week, on Thursdays, and we all complain about the subway.

Next month I'm working from home. Then my rush hour is a walk to the coffee machine.

I start work at eight, but I'm always late. The bus is late. The subway is late. My alarm is me.

Today I run into the office at ten past. My boss says, "You can't be late every day." I say, "Okay. Every other day."

I get off work at five and clock out. Tomorrow I'm taking a sick day. Just kidding. I'll be on time. Probably.