Bankada

Hello, I'd like to open a bank account, please. I've just moved here for work, and I need one to get paid. My new company says they can't pay me without one.

What do I need to bring? My passport and a letter with my address? I have both here. Great.

How long does it take to get my card? A week? OK. Can I use my phone to pay before that? Perfect. I don't really use cash any more. And is there a fee for taking out cash abroad? I travel a lot for work. Last year I paid so many fees with my old bank. Thanks, that's really helpful.

Hi, I'm in a bit of trouble. I tried to get money from the cashpoint, and it kept my card! I think I typed the wrong PIN three times. Now my card is blocked. I feel so stupid.

I'm on holiday and this is my only card. Can you help me?

I still have my phone, so I can pay contactless in most shops. But I need some cash for a taxi tonight. Can my brother transfer money to my account today? And can you send a new card to my hotel? I'm here until Friday. Thank you, you've saved my holiday.

Good morning. I'd like to send fifty pounds to my grandson in Australia, please. It's his birthday on Friday. He's nineteen and always says he's poor.

Can I do that with a transfer? Is it quick? I have his account number here on a piece of paper. No, I don't have a card for the internet. I prefer cash. Can I put the money in an envelope? Oh, I can't? It's too far? I see.

OK, let's do the transfer. How much do I pay? Three pounds? That's almost a pizza! Fine. Do it now, before I change my mind. He's going to buy a pizza with it, I know. Then I'm going to ring him and ask if it was good.

You won't believe this. I'm at the market, and a man is selling the best cheese in London. Big, round, smelly, perfect. I say, "Can I pay by contactless, please?" He says, "Cash only." Cash! In this century!

So now I'm running to the cashpoint on the corner. There's a queue of twelve people. The man at the front is checking everything: his balance, his history, maybe his horoscope. I can see the cheese stall from here. There's only one cheese left.

Finally, I get my cash and run back with it. A woman is standing at the stall. She's holding my cheese. She taps her card, and he says, "Of course, madam!" Contactless, no problem! I think he doesn't like my hat.

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