Recipes and cooking methods

Grandma, can you see the screen? Great. I got a giant zucchini at the farmers market, and I'm going to make your fritters.

Okay, first I grate the zucchini. Wow, there's so much water! Now I whisk two eggs in a bowl. How much flour? Two tablespoons? No, three? Grandma, you're not helping, you're just smiling. Fine, I'll use four and see what happens.

It looks like wet cement. Oh no. Grandma, why are you laughing? Add more flour? One more tablespoon? Okay, it's better now, thanks. I'll fry them in a minute and text you a picture. Why do you want a picture? Oh, you want to show Aunt Meral. Of course you do.

Dan, listen, it's an emergency. Jenny's parents are coming for dinner at seven, and I'm going to roast an eggplant. Yes, an eggplant. Please don't laugh.

First I slice it. Then I sprinkle some salt on top and put it in the oven for half an hour. The recipe says to wait until it's golden brown. So I'm waiting. It's still white. It's still white. Now it's, um, black?

Okay. New plan. I'm telling them it's a smoky Turkish dish. Grandma's secret recipe. Please don't tell Jenny. Can you order a large pizza and bring it over? Use your card, and I'll pay you back tomorrow. Hurry up, they're parking outside!

Mike, can you preheat the oven to four hundred and fifty, please? I'm going to roll out the dough. Do we have a rolling pin? No? Then I'm using a wine bottle. Don't look at me like that, it works. Thanks, dude.

Put the pizza on the baking sheet. Not that one, it's got last week's fries on it. Find a clean one. Awesome. Now cheese, tomatoes, ham. Twelve minutes, so set a timer on your phone. Don't forget this time, Mike.

Twenty minutes later. Mike, what's that smell? You forgot the timer again! Okay, the bottom is black, but the top is fine. Quick, broil it for one minute to melt the cheese. Then we eat it with ketchup. Nobody has to know.

Priya, it's Dad. I'm in the car, so you're on speaker. Put the big pot on the stove and turn it on. We're making the sauce, right? Just like I showed you. Tomatoes, one onion, some garlic.

Bring to a boil, then turn it down low. It has to simmer for twenty minutes. Keep an eye on it. And stay off your phone, Priya. I know you.

At the end, taste it and add salt and pepper to taste. Not too much. What? It tastes better than mine? Priya, don't tell your mom. Please. I'll be home at six, and I'll say it was my sauce. Don't laugh. I can hear you laughing.

Mina, don't throw away those black bananas! We're making banana bread, you and me, right now. Yes, I know the last two times were a total disaster.

First, you mash three bananas in a big bowl with a fork. Not with your hand, Mina. Okay, your hand is fine, but wash it first. Then add the sugar, two eggs and the flour. The secret: a pinch of salt and a pinch of cinnamon. Only a pinch! Last time you used a whole tablespoon, and it tasted like a candle.

Now it goes in the oven for forty-five minutes. Don't open the door every five minutes. Text me a picture when it's done. And save me a piece, please. A big one.