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Zeynep, listen to this voice note, because it's a disaster. I only wanted one lamp. I put it in my basket, then I saw a rug, so I clicked add to basket. Then a mirror. Then a plant pot. Now I've got ninety-four pounds in there!

Don't panic, I've got a plan. My sister sent me a discount code, and it takes ten per cent off. And if I spend over eighty pounds, there's free delivery. So I'm actually saving money. Right?

OK, hang on. Before I go to the checkout, I'm putting the mirror on my wish list. I'll buy it next month. Honestly, I'm dead proud of myself. One last look at the rug, then I'm done. Cheers, bye!

Mum, I'm waiting for my new trainers. The shop dispatched them on Monday, and the app says "out for delivery". Yes, the courier is coming today!

I chose a delivery slot, between two and four o'clock. So I can't leave the flat. It's ten past one and I'm already looking out of the window. Last week another parcel was stuck in Birmingham for three days, so I don't trust anyone now.

Wait! I can hear someone on the stairs. Mum, it's the man from number six. He's holding a parcel, but it's for the lady in number nine. Sorry, Mum, I'll ring you back. I'm going to sit by the door and look sad.

Sam, come and look at this. The courier left my parcel on the doorstep, in the rain! The box is soaked, and it's falling apart.

I'm so annoyed. Last time I had to sign for a parcel, I stayed at home all day. This time I wrote "leave in a safe place" on the order. Well, the doorstep is not a safe place. It's a swimming pool.

Hang on, there's bubble wrap inside. Lots of it. And under the bubble wrap... the mug is fine! It's completely dry, and it says "World's Best Flatmate". It's for you, Sam. Yes, I'm still angry at the courier. But happy birthday!

I wanted the blue phone case, but it was sold out for weeks, so I decided to pre-order it. Last Tuesday the shop sent me a message: "Back in stock! We're sending yours today."

The parcel came on Friday. The packaging was lovely, with a little ribbon. But inside there was a pink case with unicorns on it. Wrong item! I'm twenty-nine years old.

I used the live chat on their website. A girl called Chloe answered in two minutes, and she was brilliant. The right case is coming tomorrow, and I can keep the unicorns for free. So now I'm writing a review. Five stars for Chloe, and four for the unicorns.

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